Pre-op coming up..

The big day is coming up.. It's forever in my mind, almost surreal, as though I'm in the middle of a nightmare and just can't wake up.. My beautiful baby boy, my gift from god - I just wish I could take it all and go through everything for him.. But I can't. All I can do is be there by his side, comfort him, love him, and watch him has he sleeps..

Hearing test - Well now his left ear passed, yea! And well Nathan only has little cat naps so once again could not get a good reading on both ears..This time it was his right ear. So we get to go again in a few months, this time to Kingston.. I am trying to convince them to transfer Nathan's case to the audiology dept. in Cheo.. Not sure they can do it, but they will try..I don't think he has a hearing issue, however he is considered high risk and needs to be followed closely. I know I should be greatfull, I just would like to be doing more of the "normal" baby things with him than having all these health related appointments..

Sedated echo - Upon arriving for his sedated echo, Nathan's vitals were checked. And I was warned that the medication to sedate my little monkey, tastes real nasty. They do add lots of flavouring to the medication, and it still tastes something awfull, aluminum so I'm told..mmm..Well knowing that Nathan has his brothers talent for getting himself all worked up and puking on cue..I request giving him the medication myself.. So I did. And he cried, and cried and cried.. I was really surprised at how upset he got from taking this medication..They were not fooling, it must taste dreadfull! Shortly after he fell fast asleep. They got the picutes of his heart they wanted, his EKG. We got the stickers off without him crying, thanks to the patience of his nurse Kim! He woke up while they were getting blood, and wasn't too happy.. They had a real hard time getting what they needed and eventually had to stop because it was just too much for the little guy..I rocked him and kissed him and calmed him back down, and shortly afterwards we were aloud to go home. He stayed pretty sleepy for the rest of the day, i feel bad but it was kinda nice.. I got a bit of a break and I really needed it.

My older two, Kristopher and Mykaela are so amazing. Nathan is so blessed to have them has siblings. Mykaela is a little mommy, hugging and kissing him. Bouncing him on her knee making him laugh and laugh..Holding him and rocking him has he cries..Praying for him every night before bed.. It is something to see, the special connection between the two of them. Kristopher is proving to be a pillar of strength, and showing an incredible sense of humour. Nathan has put a sparkle in Kristophers eyes that just wasn't there before. Kristopher wanted to donate his own blood for Nathan, he is too young but he says he would risk his life to save him..He already has plans to take co-op in highschool and work in Nathan's classroom.. He is very protective of his little brother and full of questions regarding his health. Both kids are expressing their worry over their little brother and we all share a hug and cry together. I think it's important that they are learning how we has a family can support each other through such tough and scary times. I am so proud of them, they are growing up so fast.

God i love my kids..